'Broken Spirits Lost Souls,' the text and basic foundation for the film 'The Boarder'
More Endorsement for 'Broken Spirits Lost Souls,' the text and basic foundation for 'The Boarder' novel and upcoming movie.
“I have associated with educational psychologists for years and they have rarely known the very children they profess to know. Jane Ryan could teach circles around them, because she knows children, especially those with Reactive Attachment Disorder. As a chronicler of parents with unattached children, she has a wealth of information and the kind of book that every parent of a troubled child, every public school counselor and university teacher of children’s psychology should possess. Without books such as Jane Ryan’s, those who treat children will continue to provide verbal maps which are wildly divergent from the territories they think they are describing. I urge you—implore you—to give her book a good read.”
---Donovan Welch, Ph.D., Professor, University of Nebraska at Kearney.
“Jane Ryan gives us hope for children with RAD and their families. As an adoptive mother of a child with severe attachment problems I have not always felt hopeful. There are many who might believe this book is written for families of children with RAD and professionals working with those children and families. That is not true. As Jane shows us, all of society is affected by individuals with attachment difficulties and the more we all know about it the better off we all will be.”
---Wanda Freeman, CMSW, LMHP
“Open this book and one is immediately grabbed by behaviors we see exhibited in children all around us today. The feelings of love intertwined with utter helplessness and frustration these parents feel is real. It appalls me to think how many are fighting daily battles with attachment disordered children and have no idea what they are dealing with or that they are NOT alone. What a lifeline this book is for those!”
---Carolyn Nelson, RN, BSN, psychiatric nurse.
“Jane tells her story and the stories of other families with children with RAD in her gentle, forthright manner. My eyes were opened and my heart saddened as I read 'Broken Spirits Lost Souls.' Such tragedies are these children with their fears of love and loss. The families that love them also experience tragedies as well as the society they live in. I urge anyone who is puzzled or worried about the violence of young people in our school systems to read 'Broken Spirits Lost Souls.' Jane’s words will enlighten you.”
---Merlene Paul, RN
“Jane Ryan’s book shines a bright light into the murky and tragically misunderstood world of the Reactive Attachment Disorder. It is a sad, frightening and lonely place inhabited by an increasingly large proportion of families in the industrialized societies. Through Jane’s eyes I have seen the terror and isolation, the social stigma experienced by families of individuals suffering from RAD. Her work has greatly heightened my awareness of the multiple and difficult ethical, social, psychological, and treatment issues presented by this disorder."
“In this highly readable, indeed enthralling, book Jane Ryan summarizes her own great experience with RAD and its victims. She makes understanding of and empathy with the sufferers easy. Her recommendations for treatment, and for societal management of this disorder, though stern by some standards, deserve to be taken very seriously by all concerned social and governmental bodies. She knows her subject well."
“Jane’s book is a must for parents, as well as mental health, social service, and counseling professionals interested in family and child dysfunction. I believe it will be seen in future years as a landmark in the area of family relationship work, and as a guide to humane legislation in this area.”
---Fred W. Llewellyn, M.D., Diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology, Inc., Certified by the American Society of Addiction Medicine, Inc.
“I have associated with educational psychologists for years and they have rarely known the very children they profess to know. Jane Ryan could teach circles around them, because she knows children, especially those with Reactive Attachment Disorder. As a chronicler of parents with unattached children, she has a wealth of information and the kind of book that every parent of a troubled child, every public school counselor and university teacher of children’s psychology should possess. Without books such as Jane Ryan’s, those who treat children will continue to provide verbal maps which are wildly divergent from the territories they think they are describing. I urge you—implore you—to give her book a good read.”
---Donovan Welch, Ph.D., Professor, University of Nebraska at Kearney.
“Jane Ryan gives us hope for children with RAD and their families. As an adoptive mother of a child with severe attachment problems I have not always felt hopeful. There are many who might believe this book is written for families of children with RAD and professionals working with those children and families. That is not true. As Jane shows us, all of society is affected by individuals with attachment difficulties and the more we all know about it the better off we all will be.”
---Wanda Freeman, CMSW, LMHP
“Open this book and one is immediately grabbed by behaviors we see exhibited in children all around us today. The feelings of love intertwined with utter helplessness and frustration these parents feel is real. It appalls me to think how many are fighting daily battles with attachment disordered children and have no idea what they are dealing with or that they are NOT alone. What a lifeline this book is for those!”
---Carolyn Nelson, RN, BSN, psychiatric nurse.
“Jane tells her story and the stories of other families with children with RAD in her gentle, forthright manner. My eyes were opened and my heart saddened as I read 'Broken Spirits Lost Souls.' Such tragedies are these children with their fears of love and loss. The families that love them also experience tragedies as well as the society they live in. I urge anyone who is puzzled or worried about the violence of young people in our school systems to read 'Broken Spirits Lost Souls.' Jane’s words will enlighten you.”
---Merlene Paul, RN
“Jane Ryan’s book shines a bright light into the murky and tragically misunderstood world of the Reactive Attachment Disorder. It is a sad, frightening and lonely place inhabited by an increasingly large proportion of families in the industrialized societies. Through Jane’s eyes I have seen the terror and isolation, the social stigma experienced by families of individuals suffering from RAD. Her work has greatly heightened my awareness of the multiple and difficult ethical, social, psychological, and treatment issues presented by this disorder."
“In this highly readable, indeed enthralling, book Jane Ryan summarizes her own great experience with RAD and its victims. She makes understanding of and empathy with the sufferers easy. Her recommendations for treatment, and for societal management of this disorder, though stern by some standards, deserve to be taken very seriously by all concerned social and governmental bodies. She knows her subject well."
“Jane’s book is a must for parents, as well as mental health, social service, and counseling professionals interested in family and child dysfunction. I believe it will be seen in future years as a landmark in the area of family relationship work, and as a guide to humane legislation in this area.”
---Fred W. Llewellyn, M.D., Diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology, Inc., Certified by the American Society of Addiction Medicine, Inc.
FOREWORD to Broken Spirits Lost Souls (BSLS - 2004)
As an adoptive mother, a researcher, a therapist, Jane Ryan has three unique perspectives to clarify a world of heartbreak and hope. It is the world of the attachment-disordered child. Such children exhibit the strange symptoms, unmanageable behaviors, and unloving responses that are so well detailed in this book.
Due to world conflict, ethnic uprooting, and the increase in displaced refugees, the number of severely disturbed infants is growing. Around the world these homeless and neglected children, sometimes warehoused in orphanages with poor care and high child-to-adult ratios, are then marketed to the world’s prospective adoptive parents. The parents are told that the child “needs love.” Often, the covert message is that “love will fix the child.” Many of the increasing number of prospective parents have successfully raised birth children of their own so are confident of both their love and effective disciplinary techniques. As this book makes apparent, they are in for a shock when the child does not respond to either love or discipline.
Because human beings can’t consciously recall their early years, there is the unconscious expectation that those years must not be all that important. But they are. For it is the nurturing given in infancy that leads all mammals, particularly humans, to respond in a manner that creates and maintains family, society, culture, and civilization. Elephants have much in common with humans: they are very intelligent and have relatively prolonged childhoods that require nurturing. Their social order is also similar, so when things go wrong in infancy, elephants show behaviors strikingly similar to those shown by disturbed humans:
In the October 2, 1994, Chicago Tribune (page 19) there was an interesting article. Someone or something was systematically killing beautiful white rhinos in the African Planesberg Game Reserve. The South African officials found the rhinos had gaping wounds shaped like elephant tusks in their backs. Surprising evidence showed young bull elephants were responsible for this unusual behavior. The only recorded incidents of elephants killing rhinos had occurred at water holes when mothers and young calves felt threatened. These young bull elephants were going on a rampage for no apparent reason.
The officials came up with a possible explanation for this aberrant behavior: in the late 1970’s Planesberg became a pioneer in the restocking of animals and baby elephants to other parks, those who would have otherwise been marked for slaughter.As part of the cull to keep animal populations manageable they were moved to Planesberg along with only two adult females to care for seventy or more junior elephants.
Clive Walker, chairman of the Rhino and Elephant Foundation of Africa, believes the problem goes back to the childhood trauma suffered by these elephants and followed up by a lack of parental authority throughout their formative years. As babies, these elephants watched their parents being slaughtered and then were trucked off to new and unfamiliar surroundings. The trauma of their childhood was expressed in adult rage.While males may express killing rages as a result of early life trauma, females often express their lack of trust in others, in less overtly violent ways, as demonstrated in the writing of my young female patient below:
“The intent of this writing is not to blame my parents or anyone else. It is an attempt to explain the hopelessness and frustration I experience. It is one of the hardest and most difficult tasks I have ever undertaken as I feel at a complete loss for words when attempting to convey the total sense of isolation and helplessness I feel. I am not sure I can communicate in words how I feel so much different than anyone else and, if everyone is truly as different from me as I perceive, I do not know how they can possibly understand how I feel.
“I felt my parents did not love me. I can recall being keenly aware of wanting affection and some kind of approval at a very early age.When the love that I craved was not forthcoming, I would tell myself, “They don’t love me because I’m a monster.How could anyone love a monster. Monsters are bad.”
When affection and nurturing care are withheld early in life, unloved infants are in danger of growing to become true monsters. To avoid such an outcome, human infants must develop three character traits during the first years of life, upon which civilization balances: basic trust, the foundation of conscience, and “cause and effect thinking” which is necessary to control internal impulses.
When Americans are murdered for no apparent reason, they are almost certainly victims of a crime committed by someone who has no conscience, has difficulty planning ahead, has poor impulse control, and is filled with rage. Some authors have warned that America is in danger of developing a new breed of “super-predators” due to an increase in numbers of uncared-for and neglected infants. Only time will tell if this is true. It is already known, however, that disturbed early childhoods played a role in the development of many well-known predators.
The most heartbreaking aspect of Reactive Attachment Disorder is that it has been well understood for such a very long time! Nearly sixtyears ago John Bowlby and others described the problem and its cause. Now, over half a century later, our society does all it can to insure that young mothers, unable to maintain lasting relationships, even with an adult, are encouraged, indeed paid, per baby, to have larger families. The problem grows geometrically. Half a century later, John Bowlby’s voice still hits the mark:
Due to world conflict, ethnic uprooting, and the increase in displaced refugees, the number of severely disturbed infants is growing. Around the world these homeless and neglected children, sometimes warehoused in orphanages with poor care and high child-to-adult ratios, are then marketed to the world’s prospective adoptive parents. The parents are told that the child “needs love.” Often, the covert message is that “love will fix the child.” Many of the increasing number of prospective parents have successfully raised birth children of their own so are confident of both their love and effective disciplinary techniques. As this book makes apparent, they are in for a shock when the child does not respond to either love or discipline.
Because human beings can’t consciously recall their early years, there is the unconscious expectation that those years must not be all that important. But they are. For it is the nurturing given in infancy that leads all mammals, particularly humans, to respond in a manner that creates and maintains family, society, culture, and civilization. Elephants have much in common with humans: they are very intelligent and have relatively prolonged childhoods that require nurturing. Their social order is also similar, so when things go wrong in infancy, elephants show behaviors strikingly similar to those shown by disturbed humans:
In the October 2, 1994, Chicago Tribune (page 19) there was an interesting article. Someone or something was systematically killing beautiful white rhinos in the African Planesberg Game Reserve. The South African officials found the rhinos had gaping wounds shaped like elephant tusks in their backs. Surprising evidence showed young bull elephants were responsible for this unusual behavior. The only recorded incidents of elephants killing rhinos had occurred at water holes when mothers and young calves felt threatened. These young bull elephants were going on a rampage for no apparent reason.
The officials came up with a possible explanation for this aberrant behavior: in the late 1970’s Planesberg became a pioneer in the restocking of animals and baby elephants to other parks, those who would have otherwise been marked for slaughter.As part of the cull to keep animal populations manageable they were moved to Planesberg along with only two adult females to care for seventy or more junior elephants.
Clive Walker, chairman of the Rhino and Elephant Foundation of Africa, believes the problem goes back to the childhood trauma suffered by these elephants and followed up by a lack of parental authority throughout their formative years. As babies, these elephants watched their parents being slaughtered and then were trucked off to new and unfamiliar surroundings. The trauma of their childhood was expressed in adult rage.While males may express killing rages as a result of early life trauma, females often express their lack of trust in others, in less overtly violent ways, as demonstrated in the writing of my young female patient below:
“The intent of this writing is not to blame my parents or anyone else. It is an attempt to explain the hopelessness and frustration I experience. It is one of the hardest and most difficult tasks I have ever undertaken as I feel at a complete loss for words when attempting to convey the total sense of isolation and helplessness I feel. I am not sure I can communicate in words how I feel so much different than anyone else and, if everyone is truly as different from me as I perceive, I do not know how they can possibly understand how I feel.
“I felt my parents did not love me. I can recall being keenly aware of wanting affection and some kind of approval at a very early age.When the love that I craved was not forthcoming, I would tell myself, “They don’t love me because I’m a monster.How could anyone love a monster. Monsters are bad.”
When affection and nurturing care are withheld early in life, unloved infants are in danger of growing to become true monsters. To avoid such an outcome, human infants must develop three character traits during the first years of life, upon which civilization balances: basic trust, the foundation of conscience, and “cause and effect thinking” which is necessary to control internal impulses.
When Americans are murdered for no apparent reason, they are almost certainly victims of a crime committed by someone who has no conscience, has difficulty planning ahead, has poor impulse control, and is filled with rage. Some authors have warned that America is in danger of developing a new breed of “super-predators” due to an increase in numbers of uncared-for and neglected infants. Only time will tell if this is true. It is already known, however, that disturbed early childhoods played a role in the development of many well-known predators.
The most heartbreaking aspect of Reactive Attachment Disorder is that it has been well understood for such a very long time! Nearly sixtyears ago John Bowlby and others described the problem and its cause. Now, over half a century later, our society does all it can to insure that young mothers, unable to maintain lasting relationships, even with an adult, are encouraged, indeed paid, per baby, to have larger families. The problem grows geometrically. Half a century later, John Bowlby’s voice still hits the mark:
“Though such cases are sadly numerous, they are mercifully more open to treatment than the severe forms. On the immense task set by the treatment of the affection-less and delinquent character…Because of their almost complete inability to make relationships, the psychiatrist is robbed of his principal tool: he should be skilled in the management of patients who hate him; he has yet to learn methods of affecting patients who had no feelings for him at all. For instance, psychological treatment was given over a period of some six years to 80 girls in a small home for delinquent girls (ages 12-16). Half were successes and half failures. Response to treatment was related neither to intelligence nor to heredity. Its relationship to the girls early family experiences, however, was striking.”1 (Footnote 1 John Bowlby, Child Care and the Growth of Love, Penguin Books, Baltimore,1953, 55.
The available evidence suggests that nothing but prolonged residence with an adult who has insight into the problem, skill in handling it, and unlimited time to devote to her charge is likely to be of much avail. There are answers. The answers, as suggested by Bowlby so many years ago, lie in prevention of the problem, for there will never be enough psychotherapists, adoptive parents, or jails to respond to the problem once it has developed.
Simply put, behavior follows money. That may seem callous, cynical, and simplistic, but, for better or for worse, it is true. Presently, our society pays young adults very well for having, then destroying children. The worse the parent, the more money there is available to them from government. The more children one has but can’t afford, the better one is paid. Paying farmers for surplus crops, and surplus infants from young mothers has definitely worked. However, it is high time to reverse this trend and begin paying people for making responsible, rather than irresponsible decisions. I offer the following suggestions:
These measures may be considered severe, but the problem is severe. Some will argue that such suggestions defy basic human rights, but the children produced often move into a world without rights; many end up in jail or institutions. Those with whom they interact—often their victims—have both their quality of life and their rights violated.
Jane Ryan details the lives of Broken Spirits Lost Souls, families in turmoil with young victims of early trauma. Perhaps after more than half a century of study, it is time to do something about the problem.
The Foreword Written by Foster W. Cline, M.D., world renowned expert on attachment difficulties.
The available evidence suggests that nothing but prolonged residence with an adult who has insight into the problem, skill in handling it, and unlimited time to devote to her charge is likely to be of much avail. There are answers. The answers, as suggested by Bowlby so many years ago, lie in prevention of the problem, for there will never be enough psychotherapists, adoptive parents, or jails to respond to the problem once it has developed.
Simply put, behavior follows money. That may seem callous, cynical, and simplistic, but, for better or for worse, it is true. Presently, our society pays young adults very well for having, then destroying children. The worse the parent, the more money there is available to them from government. The more children one has but can’t afford, the better one is paid. Paying farmers for surplus crops, and surplus infants from young mothers has definitely worked. However, it is high time to reverse this trend and begin paying people for making responsible, rather than irresponsible decisions. I offer the following suggestions:
- No parent should be allowed to continually produce child after child only to ruin, abuse, and neglect these infants, then dump them on society for care.
- Youths “at risk” for pregnancy and becoming abusive are easily identified by most high school teachers. Such youths should be identified and counseled, instead of stressing how much help, free training, and how many special classes they will receive. It must be emphasized that having and rearing a child will be their responsibility and that rearing children is expensive. As parents, they could suffer many years of financial difficulty and the governmentwill not or should not bail them out of financial trouble.
- Temporary chemical sterilization should be considered for all parents who have one or more children living at state expense. The chemical block would be removed when they have shown an ability to responsibly care for their child.
- We have produced many abused infants by paying all birth costs for young unmarried parents. Perhaps society should be saving the billions it costs to care for such children by simply paying young, unmarried adults very well not to have children.
- In-home care for young mothers must be mandated. In home “grand-parenting” programs for young mothers have proven long-term effectiveness. Women who test positive for alcohol and drugs during pregnancy should not be allowed to raise their children. Clearly, if one can’t abstain from alcohol and drugs during a nine-month period, they will likely have trouble caring for the growth and development of another soul over the subsequent 17 years.
- Rather than attempting to place every disturbed child into adoptive homes that may be torn apart by their behavior, it would be well to consider building more group homes that could provide the structure needed to maintain the children and protect society, including locked facilities if necessary.
- Guardianship should be considered as a living-in-a-family option. Presently, if a family wants to work with and live with a disturbed child, the only permanent option is adoption. This, of course, locks them into being responsible to provide all the therapy and treatment the child may need as he or she goes through a rebellious and out-of-control adolescence. If not legally responsible, the parents will at least be at risk for the crimes the child may commit before the age of majority. Such parents have no respite; they are “stuck” with the child they adopted at ages 3 to 6. Although the disturbed behaviors the child projects is not of their doing, it is ultimately their responsibility. The “problems per pound” ratio remains roughly the same with children: a 10 problem per pound child weighing 50 pounds is but 500 units of trouble. A few years later, however,when the child weighs 130 pounds, and is now 1600 units of trouble and most parents simply can’t cope. Ideally, there should be some way to return these children to an institution atstate expense and the parents should be thanked for maintaining the child for all those years. Presently, it is far more likely that the parents will be castigated because the child is “still” trouble.
These measures may be considered severe, but the problem is severe. Some will argue that such suggestions defy basic human rights, but the children produced often move into a world without rights; many end up in jail or institutions. Those with whom they interact—often their victims—have both their quality of life and their rights violated.
Jane Ryan details the lives of Broken Spirits Lost Souls, families in turmoil with young victims of early trauma. Perhaps after more than half a century of study, it is time to do something about the problem.
The Foreword Written by Foster W. Cline, M.D., world renowned expert on attachment difficulties.